Toxic encounters with oneself

Recently, I'm experiencing a long ongoing dispute with a friend (I'm pretty sure I don't consider him to be as close to me anymore) which exposed several of my assumptions and weaknesses about myself.

Much as I would like to think that I am wise, mature, benevolent, unfortunately, I am still human, small-minded and extremely petty.

As many of my friends would know, I am perfectly able (I'm not sure whether this is considered a strength or weakness) to completely cut off someone totally.

For quite a few days, I was searching and questioning myself. In retrospect, from experience, it's easier to be the "bigger" person. The internal turmoil and self-doubt is worse than the lasting serenity of forgiveness.

I am what I am. This does not stop me from knowing who I am, while striving to be a little bit better today.