Have you ever wondered why Facebook is free? If it's so awesome (free photo galleries with easy sharing after my holiday/wedding/party, allows me to organize events without calling/emailing/smsing, free games) and complicated (seems more complicated than my Gmail and I get more work done on Gmail than on Facebook), how can it be free?
Let's look at how the mechanisms within Facebook work to make it free.
In our digital distracted disembodied world, a Facebook "like" immediately triggers overly optimistic feelings and thoughts. The thought process for many people is: my (Facebook) friends they think I am very smart/witty/cool/beautiful, hence they "like" my status update to show their support. For companies, my customers must have "like"d us so much that they willingly broadcasted their "like" to all their friends. They did not do it for the free voucher or the chance to win a million dollars.
Let us put things in perspective. A Facebook "like" is a click of the mouse or a touch on a mobile device. A typical person goes to Facebook when they are bored at work/school, killing time on their daily commute or just trying to be non-productive. It is an action that takes less than 0.1 seconds and probably lesser mental processing time. The Facebook interface has already gamed Facebook users into mindlessly clicking "Show More Posts". A Facebook user easily reads more than 20 random status updates daily from "Facebook" friends. A "like" is inconsequential. The calculation of the value of a "like" should look like: 1/20 * 0.1 = 0.005.
It is in Facebook's interest to design an algorithm that both shows you updates from people who are close to you and from people who are not really active users of Facebook. The first group of people whom you are close to (easily identifiable by metrics such as the number of mutually connected friends, common tagged photos, common events, plays the same games as you, frequency of interactions within the Facebook platform.. etc) are of high value or interest to you. You want to know what is going on in their lives (how are their kids, where did they go for their honeymoon, are they feeling happy at their new job, are they still together..). The second group of people who are not as close to you are of interest to Facebook (or to the advertisers using Facebook). You probably added them due to social obligations at a random event. You are not really interested in what they think, say or do.
Facebook currently earns money from advertising. The only way it can guarantee money from advertisers is to ensure that Facebook users spend an inordinate amount of time on Facebook. Hence, for people who are not active users of Facebook, it will try to increase the likelihood that they will feel connected to their friends by introducing their rare updates to active users of Facebook. Active users like you (yes, you, the person who comments to everyone's status update with your pithy remarks and insightful musings about the fate of the universe) are very likely to do something. Therefore, it makes sense and cents to introduce passive users to active users, so that the network effect kicks in. The most valuable users to Facebook are those who are active and who are able to catalyze other people into doing things on Facebook. Facebook is really a good example of BF Skinner's psychological experiment (Skinner Box), where rats are trained to push buttons incessantly because the relationship between rewards and activity is not clear and randomized. For humans, you don't need to put them in a box. You just need a screen and an internet connection.
You are no different from a rat, who has been trained to push a button in a clever experiment with randomized rewards. Facebook is the digital abuse of humanity's primal need to feel a connection to another human being.
If you want to blame the increasing disconnect among human relationships, blame Facebook or the advertisers paying Facebook. However, since you buy the products marketed by the advertisers on Facebook..
If you think my reasoning is entirely flawed, just ask yourself - "Why is Facebook free?"
If you really want to be popular, be well-liked or to show care and concern to a friend you have not contacted in a long time, just try this. Facebook helpfully sends you birthday reminders. Take 5 mins for each friend, and call them to wish them happy birthday. Switch off your mobile phone and computer. Find a quiet place, pick up a fixed line phone and call (I know you need to write the friend's mobile number on a piece of paper which is an archaic concept, because your brain cannot remember mobile numbers anymore. It's a skill only present in older adults who cannot fathom the usefulness of Facebook.) Instead of the "marshmallow" (air and empty immediate sugary goodness) fleeting sense of achievement, you will feel more fulfilled and happy than giving out 200 likes (for "world peace", to support someone's bid to the next "XYZ", to stop the war..).
There are two benefits of doing that. Firstly, two people in the world will be happy and one will be pleasantly surprised. As people age, you will gradually realize that you are lucky to have had the chance to talk to that friend. It's a fact of life that people die and not entirely because of old age. Accidents happen. Earthquakes, tsunamis, nuclear reactor meltdowns, riots, wars, train wrecks, tornadoes, shipwrecks, cancer, heart attacks, muggings, fires..
Even better, write a handwritten letter.
